The Truth About Brussels Sprouts

The Facebook post featured Brussels spouts being prepared with lemon honey. The author of that post also talked of how yummy they were.

In response, one of her friends said, “I have given up trying to find a good recipe for Brussels sprouts. No matter what other food is paired with them, the other food is ruined and the end product is inedible.”

My thoughts exactly. Actually, that’s worded better than I could have thought it.

There is truly no salvation for Brussels sprouts.

Notice their initials: BS. Think that’s an accident?

Nope. It’s what they taste like.

Raised to eat what I am served and to do so politely, if you serve me Brussels sprouts, I will eat them with no complaints. I hope I even compliment you on them.

I also hope you have a Brussels sprouts-eating dog under the table.

We are regular dinner guests of friends who serve them ‘Italian-style.’ Best I can tell, that involves cooking some bacon, then searing the Brussels sprouts in the bacon grease. How that’s Italian-style, I’m not sure.

Unless pigs were invented in Italy.

They even serve them with the bacon. But as the previous comment implies, that simply ruins perfectly good bacon.

I've tried, y'all. With butter, with cheese, roasted, toasted, salted and malted. Sorry, malt was the only thing I could think of to rhyme with salt.

Though if you actually did malt them, you could brew beer with them. How nasty would that be???

Likely, no nastier than the current fad of pot-flavored (hemp) beer.

Hey! Wonder if anyone has tried smoking Brussel sprouts!

Probably. And it was probably after they ate them.

“These taste like crap. Let’s fire one up and see if it’s any good that way.”

If you like Brussels sprouts, good for you. And being in the cabbage family, they are in fact probably good for you.

But here’s my truth: If a Brussels sprout was a critter crawling across my floor, I’d take my shoe and beat it into oblivion. Then I’d take a paper towel, wipe it up and flush it.

Yep, it’s the cockroach of vegetables.

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